I am an Obama supporter, but I am an open-minded guy and I am very interested in why many of my family and friends support Hillary. Obama says that one of our biggest problems as a nation is a lack of empathy and "lack of empathy" certainly describes much of the candidate commentary around here. I want to tell you, particularly fellow Obama supporters, what I have learned. Partly as a exercise in empathy and community. Partly as a warning: don't dismiss Clinton supporters as somehow lacking in commitment or drive.
Watching Clinton closely in the last debate certainly helped me to understand her supporters. She has a commanding presence in that format and her intelligence always shines through; in that last debate I thought that her natural warmth came through as well. I agree with her on some issues (mandates), while still disagreeing on others (Iraq, taking money from lobbyists.)
But what an Obama supporter won't get from the debate is the strong emotional connection that she builds with her supporters. I my case, I am thinking of some of my closest female relatives and friends. These are women who have learned the hard way not to trust a handsome sweet-talking young man who promises to change your world, that this time it will different. Women who know that when men get the credit, it is very often a woman who actually held the shit together when everything was about to go under. Supporters of both sexes often gave up on "inspiration" a long time ago; they admire someone who gets up in the morning, gets the fucking job done and makes it to the end of the day with the kids fed and the bills mostly paid.
Her better-off women supporters remember growing up and hearing in school that in American "anyone could grow up to be president." And, then, walking home, remembering that as a girl they weren't part of "anyone." They have waited a long time to feel otherwise, and believe me, they feel the "fierce urgency of now." (Obviously, many people feel the same way about Obama, for similar reasons.)
Look, these people know me and they respect my support for Obama. They listen closely when I point out the policy substance that goes with the inspiration. They think hard when I point out the hard-nosed practical reality that a President without a broad-based movement behind her can only change so much, particularly in domestic policy where Congress is often dominant. And that in foreign policy, where the President has more direct control, maybe they would prefer Obama's actual positions, policies and advisers.
But my basic message is: don't ridicule or underestimate these people. They don't show up at crowded rallies because they are at work, or picking up the kids from school, or because their aging knees can't stand for hours in line outside an arena. What they do is vote. They don't hang out online for hours marveling at the ever-changing totals of internet fund-raising. But when Hillary finally got around to mentioning that she was short of money, well of course they raised $6 million in a day. What, you thought they wouldn't? Thought they weren't as dedicated as us, not as smart as us, didn't know how to use the internet? Well, they not only saved Hillary's campaign, they freed her up from dependence on the money of lobbyists. Did us all a huge favor, probably changed the party forever.
Look, I am backing Obama, with my money, my arguments, my vote. We carried my home-town of New Haven 2 to 1, with a ton of support from "Hillary's demographic," including our Italian-America, feminist congresswoman Rosa Delauro, who came ever so close to persuading my wife to vote for Obama, with a wonderful e-mail pointing out Obama's courage in supporting women's issues in at least one case where Hillary stayed on the side-lines.
But in the end my wife voted for Hillary. She thought about Hillary's intelligence, her drive, but also about the sting of a little girl who once realized that she wasn't considered to be "anyone." I love her still, of course. But my message to you is: don't ridicule, don't get cocky, don't underestimate.